Labor Day weekend was great. The last hurrah before the trek to the holiday season. But, as Monday strolled in, I really wanted to get our family off to a good start for the week. Make sure homework is done, wash clothes, get school uniforms ready, clean dishes, etc. And obviously I didn’t want to do all the work. We’re always trying to create better habits with our daughters and have a family vision that we are all responsible for our home. We’re a team! Easier said than done.

I started off with a grant intention. We were going to be a team. I mean come on, we had a great Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday morning. TONS of fun and relaxation. So I figured people would be ready and willing to use that stored up energy, get aboard my bandwagon, and set us up for a great week. I went into the girls' room and gave what I thought were simple tasks: pick up the dirty clothes and bring them downstairs, bring towels to my room and I’ll take care of them, put clean clothes away, pick up trash, bring clean clothes that I already folded that became unfolded and put it in my room so I can RE-FOLD it (I was trying to ease the pressure) for you so you can put it away, which should have been done in the first place. I had one gal on board. The other gal… complete nuclear meltdown.

I guess you could say my plans didn’t go as I’d hoped. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t get on board. Plus, we'd relaxed a ton! There’s no way she was tired. Either way, a lot of good work got done, but I was very… perturbed, yeah, perturbed that's the word.

Later that day, once I came down from Perturbed City, I realized I was still upset, and she was still upset. Even though I was still clinging to the edges of Perturbed City I went into her room and I apologized for however I upset her. I told her I didn’t want the day to go the way it did. And then I asked, “Could I have done anything different? Is there a better way I could have gone about it?” She thought for a moment and then said, “You could have said please.” Follow up question, “Anything else?” She took a second. I offered, “Would it have been helpful to let you finish what you were doing?” She said, “Yes. That would have helped a lot.”

I know people parent differently. But we are trying to raise our girls to speak up for themselves and express what they want and need. We also try to give plenty of time, warnings, and notice to set them up for success in what needs to be done. I think that day I was so in my head. We had allowed the house to get messy while not stressing over it. I expected everyone to be on board because of so much rest, so I jumped in barking orders and not caring what was going on at the moment. 

I apologized again. She told me she forgave me. We exchanged big hugs.

This reminded me that even God has taken the time on multiple occasions to ask someone what they need or desire. God tells Solomon in 2 Chronicles 1:7, “Whatever you ask, I will give you.” Solomon says some nice things about God and his father David’s relationship and then states his desire: “Give me, therefore, wisdom and knowledge to govern these people, for otherwise who could rule these vast people of yours?” No Ferrari?

Jesus asks the blind man in Mark 10:51, “What do you want me to do for you?” He replied, “Master I want to see.” Okay, that’s a good request.

Throughout scripture we are encouraged to pray unceasingly in so many ways. To name a few:

“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” - 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

“But when you pray, go to your inner room, close your door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” - Matthew 6:6

“Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive.” - Matthew 21:22

“When you call me, and come and pray to me, I will listen.” - Jeremiah 29: 12

I hope that in my fatherhood I can mimic God the Father to the best of my ability. As a father to my girls, I want them to always be able to turn to me for whatever they need. So moving forward, I know I’ll screw up again, but I can try and slow down and find ways to work with and guide my daughters. Because, in fact, they’ve told me what they need.