Back when I was in college, every now and then, one of my best friends and his family would take us ragamuffins down to their bay house in Schicke Point, TX. It was an opportunity that we would jump at if it was ever offered to us. A weekend of relaxing, friends, clay shooting, fishing, friends, and beer was always a no brainer. These weekends were filled with conversations all over the map about life, school, and wisdom from the old folks. But there is one conversation I remember to this day.

We were enjoying some delicious brisket, cuz Texas, and I believe my friend’s stepmom and I were talking about youth ministry. She was on our Life Teen core team when we were all in high school and I was pretty active volunteering at the time. She made a comment I’ve never forgotten. She said something to the effect of, “I bet your dreadlocks are useful because you look cool and that will attract teens to you.” At the moment I didn’t quite know what to say. I’m sure I said something like, “Yeah, you’re right.” Something about that comment bothered me. I would come to learn as I matured that it was my own insecurity that was creeping into my mind. But at that moment I was defensive against the idea of using how I looked as a tool.

At that point in my life I felt a call to ministry, which has become a very large part of my life since. I was on the Life Teen core team, I volunteered, I helped run retreats, gave talks, etc. I got called upon whenever there was a need in the ministry. On top of that, I started branching way out from my parish. I was on one of the first Life Teen camp staffs at Covecrest in 2004 and got to know the whole Life Teen crew back then. I was a camp director at a camp Life Teen used to own in Arizona called Camp Tepeyac. And for a few years I was able to be a host for camp. And that’s when the devil went on the attack.

Yes, it was true. I was the only person at my church with dreadlocks. I stood out. Also, for the most part, anywhere I went for ministry I was the only person with dreadlocks. And the devil used that to make me doubt myself and the gifts I have. I started to wonder, “Am I only invited to places and asked to serve because I look different and stand out? Do I have anything else to offer?” That question anchored itself in my mind so aggressively I knew I had to take action.

I did not choose dreadlocks to stand out or be the center of attention. I originally became obsessed with them when I discovered Bob Marley in middle school. And then when I got older a lot of the bands I loved had dreadlocks. Before making the commitment I did my research on the history of dreadlocks because I knew they were a hairstyle in many different cultures worldwide. What I loved about the phenomena was the spiritual aspect behind them. Simply put, they were about detachment for societal norms and detachment from worrying about what others think of you. And their name also has a spiritual context. “Dread” has to do with the gift from the Holy Spirit of “fear of the Lord” or “awe and wonder”; to dread offending God or giving others’ power over us. Nowadays they are a popular style but that is what sealed the deal for me; I liked how they looked and I like the original meaning. But, I began to wonder if they were who “Chris” is to others. 

Since I could not shake that feeling I knew I could not keep them. I knew I had to get rid of them. And, if I were to grow them back, it would have to be at a point when I knew for a fact that I was more than my hair, I was more than that Catholic guy with dreadlocks. So, in 2008 when I was hosting at Camp Covecrest I gave a talk that was about going all in for Jesus. At the end of my talk I cut off three of my dreads and said I was all in. I then went outside and the camp staff took turns cutting it all off. Fast forward 6 years later, I grew them back and have had them for 9 years.

Something happened a few weeks ago that brought all of this to the forefront. I had the privilege to speak at a parish in south Houston to a group of around two hundred teens in Confirmation prep. In the middle of my talk we heard tires screeching outside. But this wasn’t a quick screech like someone accelerating at a streetlight. This was a prolonged noise. The volunteers and the DRE went outside to see what was happening. The teens were obviously distracted but I kept talking to keep their attention. It was very loud. It almost drowned me out and I had a microphone. At the end of the night we found out that there was a drive-by down the street. One person was killed and another injured. I checked the local news the next day. It was true.

A few weeks later I got this text from the DRE: “Hey Chris!! Happy Monday!! Been meaning to text you to tell that the kiddos mentioned how amazed they were to see someone like you with dreadlocks talk about God☺️ This is exactly what I’ve been wanting for these kiddos to experience - to meet new faces that love Jesus. Thank you again. Blessings to you and your family.”

I’ve come to realize that my friend’s stepmom was not being belittling to me. It’s just the reality. In our suburban church in Sugar Land, TX I stick out. I have no control over that and that’s ok. I am more than my hair and looks (along with a big beard nowadays). NO ONE wants to be a “token” anything. I do have gifts to offer. And I’m always sharing with teens that there is no cookie cutter way to be or look like a Catholic. We are a worldwide religion in different countries and cultures, and many different rites. And if what I have to offer ALONG WITH my looks takes teens' minds off of the violence that is sadly the norm in the neighborhood, and redirects their minds to Jesus, I’m cool with that.