This Advent, I find myself in the unique position of being quite pregnant. Filled with the wonder and awe of our first pregnancy and baby, my husband and I swoon over every kick, every ultrasound picture, every little onesie we see in a store.

As a woman who has always had a great devotion to the Blessed Mother, I have found that this Advent has been so much more meaningful for me in my pregnancy because I find myself so drawn to the story of the pregnant Mary. Before my own pregnancy, I had assumptions about what it might be like to be pregnant one day. But I have found that the women I know who have been pregnant, strong and humble as women tend to be, completely underplayed the crazy and unexpected symptoms of pregnancy.

Very shortly after finding out I was pregnant, a wave extreme exhaustion, crazy nightmares, unpredictable mood swings, and fear of miscarriage all hit me like a ton of bricks. And I just kept thinking to myself, “Why does nobody talk about how hard this is?!”

And in these moments of self-pity, I’ve tried to turn my attention back to the Blessed Mother. My privilege has allowed me to go through this pregnancy in my own home, at a reasonable age, with my husband, supportive family, and financial stability. Mary’s story was not the same, and the load she was carrying was much heavier than mine. My baby, special as she is, will not be the Messiah. Mary knew hers was.

We’ve forgotten that Mary was really, truly, humanly pregnant. 

She went through all of the human elements of what it means to be pregnant.

She would have experienced the nerves of telling Joseph, Elizabeth, close friends, and, if they were living, her parents that she was pregnant out of wedlock.

Maybe she had morning sickness.

Maybe she had food aversions.

Maybe she had food cravings.

Maybe she experienced extreme fatigue.

Maybe she had crazy nightmares due to her changing hormones.

Maybe she had insomnia.

Maybe she had mood swings, leg cramps, heartburn, or anxiety.

She probably saw the daily changes in her body progress,

bosom and hips widening to prepare for birth and feeding.

Stretch marks developing,

outgrowing clothes that once fit her comfortably.

After a few months, she would finally be able to feel those first few pokes coming from her lower abdomen, the baby Jesus inside her saying hello.

After a few more weeks, those pokes progress to kicks.

I can picture Mary calling over for Joseph to come and feel,

His eyes widening with wonder and joy as he feels Jesus greeting him from inside the womb.

With no bloodwork, ultrasounds, genetic testing, or prenatal vitamins in her time, Mary and Joseph trusted in the unknown, hopeful for the health and growth of the baby Jesus. They had no way of knowing if Jesus’s limbs and organs were growing properly. This pregnancy was solely dependent on trust in God’s will and goodness.

And then poor, pregnant Mary had to travel with Joseph south from Nazareth to Bethlehem for Joseph’s family census. I can barely climb into the passenger seat of a car while pregnant without complaining, yet Mary had to climb onto a donkey to travel 100 miles. I always found it odd that Joseph had to take his pregnant wife across the desert so far into her pregnancy. Was there really no absentee ballot or pregnancy exception for this census? But then again, who knows if Mary or pregnant women of the time could accurately estimate their due dates? And for all we know, Jesus could have been born weeks early!

And so Mary gave birth in a stable, not from the warmth of a hospital bed.

No doctors, no epidural, no birthing ball or carefully curated birthing playlist.

Her labor could have been short, or it could have lasted for hours or days.

And then finally, the cries of a perfect baby broke through the cries of labor.

Joseph and Mary’s paternal instincts somehow kicked in and they were able to tend to a healthy baby.

Our society, even today, is still quick to judge and outcast those pregnant out of wedlock. Yet if it wasn’t for the pregnancy of this teenage mother, pregnant out of wedlock, Jesus would not have taken on human form the way we know He did. Of course, we know that Jesus’s conception was miraculous, and all other pregnancies have a direct cause. But still, can we better revere the miracle of conception and support women who, despite the odds, choose life for their babies?

My own pregnancy has given me such an appreciation for the miracle of conception. Out of nothing, God breathes life into us and gives us soul. Before becoming pregnant, I had no idea that a baby had a heartbeat just 3-4 weeks after conception. Yet at my first ultrasound at 6 weeks pregnant, you could clearly see a pulse on the monitor, teeny webbed hands and feet protruding from this little bean-shaped body.

Jesus was that little once, too.

God created the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth,

The science of conception, of hormones, of fetal development, of the placenta, of the biology of women and babies.

It is truly amazing to see and feel a baby grow week by week, and all I have to do is go about my daily life as I always do.

Even if you are not in the position of being pregnant this Advent, I invite you to enter more deeply into the mystery and miracle of conception and pregnancy, particularly Mary’s. Mary’s yes to 9 months of teenage pregnancy gave us the Savior of the World.