I am sitting down to write this blog with sounds of fireworks booming just a few blocks away in celebration of the Fourth of July. Those blasts are mere peeps in comparison to the rush of internet cries calling for the cancelation of this celebration. On the heels of a Supreme Court decision that has rocked our nation, so many Americans are asking how we can celebrate Independence Day when women’s liberty has seemingly been lost.
As a pro-life woman who deeply values the scientific notion that life begins at conception and the philosophic and faith filled notion that that life has a soul infused by God, the Dobbs decision should have a relief. A joy, even!
But I felt neither relief nor joy at reading that headline. I worried whether this was a win for the unborn if hearts were not changed. I hurt that hearts hurt, that the wounds of so many women were ripped open for so many reasons. Most of all, I felt deeply sad that in all the fighting about a woman’s right, we lost the dialogue on a woman’s worth.
My heart remains heavy thinking about all the pain and suffering surrounding the issue of abortion—on both sides. Perhaps you feel this way too. I find healing in (re)turning to the Church for her wisdom in understanding the nuance of what it is to be a woman.
The Church often refers to the “Feminine Genius,” or the special capabilities of women. For this reason, I have always said that the Church is one of the last standing organizations that values women. That can be a tough sell, what with the all-male priesthood and seemingly traditional views on wife and motherhood. But a deeper dive into Church teaching reveals a veneration of women—the whole woman—that the world seems, in my opinion, to miss.
In both my own experience as well as the experience of those I love, the world seems to focus on one part of being female.
How many of us have been told to try online dating or to give him an ultimatum because “you’re no spring chicken?” Or perhaps you’ve gotten a promotion at work and received some version of congratulations mixed with, “but don’t you want children?” Or maybe you’ve had a child (perhaps after many years of waiting and wanting) and been told, “S/he’s so cute! Now you have to have another.” <insert sigh of exasperation>
While I am certain that all of these comments come from a place of love, there is an INSANE pressure on our (re)productivity that can so easily strip the joy from your heart and make any accomplishment feel just shy of enough. It is worth mentioning here that we certainly see this pressure in the Church as well. Do we not sometimes feel pressure to show our love in and trust of the Lord by the number of children we have?
Having recently had the awesome experience of bearing a child myself, I do not wish to in any way undermine this feminine power, but to reduce women to that gift alone is to undercut the fullness of our feminine genius. How many saints in Heaven never bore their own children? Our ability to procreate contributes to our feminine genius, but it is not its source and summit. For that, we turn to the source and summit of so much—Sacred Scripture and the story of creation.
In introducing Himself to us in Sacred Scripture through the story of creation, God also immediately reveals the feminine genius. Of course, the human race was created in the Image and Likeness of God, which gives us all a certain dignity. However, when speaking of the creation of Eve, Sacred Scripture uses a very telling word to speak of her unique value. God says, “I will make a suitable partner for the man.” But the Hebrew word used, ezer kenegdo, while often translated as “helper” is more perfectly translated to help *mate.* This speaks first and foremost to how we only find ourselves through a sincere gift of self. However, it is significant that that word is used specifically for the creation of Eve. The term ezer kenegdo is used 21 times in the Old Testament. Nineteen of those times, the term is used in reference to God as my helper.
How does God help us? He lightens our burdens, heals our wounds, rejoices in our joy, and loves without condition. Is this not what women bring into the world? Of course, there is complementarity in how man and woman together reflect the glory of God, and so men certainly help in the world as well. But I can’t help but feel the use of ezer kenegdo was quite intentional in referring to Eve, illuminating a likeness between the woman and God.
Pope John Paul II points to this in his Letter to Women. After enumerating the variety of ways women exist in the world—mother, wife, daughter, sister, working, consecrated—John Paul II thanks “every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.”
Ezer kenegdo, indeed!
Our Lady demonstrates this perfectly at the wedding feast at Cana! So often we look at this remarkable event, the first public miracle of Christ, as demonstrative of Him as the perfect son (and certainly, He is!). But does it not also speak to the nuanced way in which His mother, a woman, knew what would multiply the joy of that event and worked to make it so? Was it not her insight that enriched that moment? This in no way overshadows the work of the Son of God, but it reminds us of the unique ability of women, exemplified in His Most Blessed Mother, to bring about a greater good.
Here, Mary is every woman. In his Apostolic Letter on the Dignity and Vocation of Women, Pope John Paul II points out that “It is significant that Saint Paul does not call the Mother of Christ by her own name ‘Mary,’ but calls her ‘woman.’ The Paschal Mystery is realized in and through woman. More specifically, ‘A woman is to be found at the centre of this salvific event.’”
Not only is a woman at the center of the event, but woman is again at the center of its proclamation. Pope John Paul II again points out, “The women are the first at the tomb. They are the first to find it empty. They are the first to hear: ‘He is not here. He has risen, as he said’ (Mt 28:6). They are the first to embrace his feet (cf. Mt 28:9). They are also the first to be called to announce this truth to the Apostles (cf. Mt 28:1-10; Lk 24:8-11). The Gospel of John (cf. also Mk 16: 9) emphasizes the special role of Mary Magdalene. She is the first to meet the Risen Christ.”
It is significant that it was only women in these examples. Remember, Christ broke the social norms of his time again and again by socializing with women. That women alone were the first to these encounters is not a mistake, but a nod to the feminine genius. What is even more significant is that we can all find ourselves somewhere in this list of women. There is no one type of woman and there is no one type of work that brings about the Kingdom of God. From the pure and spotless to the publicly scorned, different women have different roles alongside Christ. Each of them is necessary and each of them are sanctified.
The closing message of the Second Vatican Council states that “The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at this moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women imbued with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling.”
This, beautiful women (and men! Come on, fellas!), is something we can all rally behind. We might not all agree on the issue of abortion, or how our country is handling this. The topic may bring up some very real trauma for you or someone you love. Let us drive the conversation to not be just about having children or not having children, but about how we will support each other in uncovering our own feminine genius. Let us be each other’s helpmate in this and in all things, bringing forth that unique light into the world, each as God calls us. For every vocation has a profoundly personal and prophetic meaning.